do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
