Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
