All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
this is an emotional support booty call
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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