dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
