Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I want to make a zoo with you.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize