I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
