It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
