Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
