We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize