direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
