Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
