Whod you bang
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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