he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I AM VODKA MAN
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
