also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
