just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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