She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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