i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
