what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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