So drunk its hurt
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
