Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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