she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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