she woke up with a sticky ear
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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