i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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