living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
