grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
