So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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