My first STD was from a foam party
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
