I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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