Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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