zippers are such a cool invention
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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