There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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