My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
God, I missed his penis.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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