I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize