you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
