I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize