there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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