I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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