Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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