from now on my penis is your penis
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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