You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
