Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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