Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
