How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
