so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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