I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
