Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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