Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
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