Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
