you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
