I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Mom said you looked used
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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