I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize