And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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