Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
