What a fucking waste of an outfit
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He better not be in your backpack
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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