i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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