I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
