Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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