Please, let me fuck your mom
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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