Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
